Saturday, December 31, 2011

TOM SUGERLAND’S LAST MEMORABLE CHRISTMAS / By Ray Ramos / Copyright Ray Ramos / Page 15

“I bet she’s down there at Victoria Secret picking out something to wear?” Yasmine was giving Tom a hard time over his upcoming party appearance over at Tiffany Shaw’s that evening. But Tom was taking it all in stride.
“I’m sure I’ll be in and out.”
“That’s what she’s afraid of,” Rockquin chimed in, as Yasmine smacked his on the back.
The two didn’t notice the tall brunette and the stylish man in the expensive black Italian suit standing before them. The man looked at Tom with an almost x-ray stare. He whispered something to the tall woman who was at least 6’4 in her Italian high heels. Rockquin’s jaw dropped.
“Oh my god! Someone pinch me!”
Both Yasmine and Tom looked over at Rockquin and then over at the dramatic looking duo.
“Hi would you folks be interested in taking a picture with Santa Clau---“
Rockquin cut Yazmine off at the quick.
“Your highness, it is a pleasure to meet you and your queen… How can we serve you?”
Tom had know idea what the heck Rockquin was talking about? He just figured he was just being his usual flamboyant self.
Yasmine suddenly realized that the woman was a model, one of the major ones. She thought she was Brazilian. But she couldn’t remember her damn name? She’d had recently been liked to a big movie star but she couldn’t remember who? She had no idea who the man was, but the dark sunglasses man him look important.
"It is Buffalo Bill," the man said to the woman in a serious tone.

He snapped his fingers at Tom and with a European accent said, “You, Santa Claus! Please stand up!” Tom looked at the guy; he wasn’t used to being ordered around like a chimp, even if the guy did say please. He slowly stood up in all his red velvet glory.
Tom looked at the two, “Have you been naughty or nice?”
The man in the suit nodded in approval. He than said something in the Brazilian model’s ear, and she approached Tom like she was walking on a runway. Then the man went over to the camera and before she could react, elbowed Yasmine away from it. The flash started popping as the model shoved Tom back on the couch and threw her long legs over him and began to straddle him and give high fashion poses, much to the shock of several passers by. As fun as it was to be straddled by this most gorgeous creature; Tom knew he had to get this chaos under control.
“Okay what the hell’s going on here?!”
Rockquin who had be frozen with awe suddenly jumped in.
“Tom we are blessed to in the presence of the great fashion photographer Efren Wallenda and the most beautiful woman in the world Zara Mia!”
Yasmine looked at them astonished; the Fellini surrealness of it all. She didn’t notice the crowd that was about to gather as Efren Wallenda and Zara Mia studied the photos they had just snapped on the monitor.
“This is good… very good,” he said to her. She stood there with her hands on her hips in agreement. Tom, Yasmine and Rockquin had lost control of the set… at least momentarily.
“I wish I could see him without that silly suit,” Efren Wallenda said as he pressed his finger to his lips. Before another thought came out of his European brain, Rockquin ran over to where Yasmine’s bag that was hidden under the counter and pulled out a large manila envelope.
Before Yasmine could get a word out, Rockquin pulled out several black & white photos that Yasmine had taken of Tom at the beach that one day; looking like the old surf king that she saw him.
"Tom's a well known west coast surfer," Yasmine said.
"Really?" Efren looked over at Mia who licking her lips, while she was examining Tom photo carefully.
"Who took this photos?" Efren said.
"Yasmine did, she's an excellent photographer," Tom said.
Efren looked at Yasmine, with a bit of a scoff.
"I don't want to you someone's who been over shot!"
"No worries with that. I shot Tom just for fun. Those have never been published Mister Wallenda."
"Very well." Efren was so excited, that Yasmine could swear that he had farted
Zara Mia pointed at the picture in Efren Wallenda’s hands, “You see if I hadn’t wanted my Hot Dog on Stick lemonade you would not have found that!”
“I will buy you dinner tonight at Mister Chow’s, okay Mia? Do you mind if I take these?"
Efren did wait for a answer from and put the photos in the envlope and under his arm.
Efren Wallenda looked at Tom, “I will need a contact number for you. Where I can reach you twenty-four- seven, if you don’t mind?”
Tom still hadn’t grasped the whirlwind that had just blown his way.
Efren Wallenda threw up his hands to the heavens.
“He's very interested in using you for one of my very upcoming shoots. Older model are all the rage these days,” said Zara Mia.
“I’m not really a ---“
Before Tom could finish Yasmine gave him an elbow in the side and Rockquin had Tom’s information in Zara Mia’s hands.
“If this happens, it will happen fast. What is your name?”
Efren Wallenda extended his hand to Tom. Tom firmly shook the hand that was softer than that of Yasmine's he thought.
“Tom Sugerland, please to meet you.”
“That’s such a sweet name,” Zara Mia said with a little flirt in her Brazilian voice.
“Enough! You’re getting fucking lemonade, then we can get out of the wretched place… it reminds me of the Fucking catacombs of Paris… only not as interesting. I hope we can find our Fucking car,” Efren Wallenda said as he walked away with his super model in tow.

Tom looked at Yasmine and Rockquin,“What was that?”
“He farted,” said Yasmine.
“No, that was me… when I get excited… I have issues sometimes. It happened once when I met Susan Lucci at the AMC in Century City.”
“Well we got a little line going on gang,” said Tom as he looked over at about ten people who were in line to get a photo with him.
“I can’t wait to go home and write about this in my diary,” Rockquin said with glee.
“That was HUGE! I think that’s in the running for thee moment of the season,” Yasmine said shaking her head in disbelief.  

Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer was playing on the radio when Tom arrived in his Santa suit at the address that Tiffany Shaw had given him in the scented envelope. Miss Shaw also lived in Cheviot Hills, like Yazmine’s family, but on the other side.
“Well this should be more than a little interesting.”
As Tom got out of his truck, he noticed that there didn’t seem to be many cars parked on the street for a party… but, he though maybe Tiffany was just a small gathering. He walked up the door and rang the bell. At first he heard nothing, so then he decided to knock. From the inside he heard Tiffany’s voice.
“It’s open Santa, come in.”
Tom opened the door cautiously and walked in the house. It was a very nice, like something out of a magazine. Everything looked just right, the tree, the lights, even a small half carved turkey on the sideboard, it all looked very tis the season.
“You’re right Santa, Tiffany has been very bad.”
Tom turned around to see Tiffany standing there looking dressed in a red silk robe, holding a half-filled highball glass.
“And I’m gonna get even badder.
“Will wonders never cease,” said Tom.
"So whatever you do; do not pick-up if Mrs. Claus calls!”
A million things might have gone through Tom’s mind at that moment, not seeing Tiffany Shaw bare- assed in a few minutes was not one of them.
“So do you like my little ruse?”
“I’m not complaining, if that’s what you’re asking?”
“Let’s get you out of that suit, you must be roasting?”
Tiffany hands went for Santa’s big brass belt buckle straight away.
“You go straight for the launch pad, don’t you lady.”
“Damn right! You got the right stuff, cowboy? I got some blue pills if you need it?’
“Don’t worry Santa hasn't found a need for them yet… you got all I need to me out in the stars.”
Becoming impatient Tiffany started to get a little rough.
“Easy baby, Santa still needs to wear the suit for a few days!”
"Just don't come to town too soon is all I ask," she said as she yanked on his suit pants.
The two were soon undressed. Tom picked up Tiffany’s naked body and threw her over his shoulder. In a nearby mirror he could see the faint tan line on that amazing beautiful behind of hers.
“Which way to the bedroom?”
She kicked her legs in excitement and pointed.
“No! Over by the tree!”
Tom’s sure and surgical like hands were all ready giving Tiffany pleasure. He could tell by her excessive panting, that he had not forgotten how to touch a woman in a way that made them plumb loco. Tom remembered he had also been called as the Sugerland Express by the ladies for reasons other than surfing back in the day.
Once down by the tree, Tom let loose and let the heavens fall were they may. Maybe it was because of the surfing, but Tom had stamina, add in all of his hours he’d clocked in making love over the years. Tom just became unleashed… like that phantom wave that broke Tom's collarbone that day on the beach; Miss Tiffany Shaw never new what hit her... but she enjoyed every minute of it.  Long after that night in December Tiffany would walk by certain parts of the house, and would immediately become flush thinking of Tom Sugerland. 
After several insane hours of going at it with a couple meal breaks in between; Tiffany was naked on the bed, just sprawled out like a bag of bones that just hit the pavement from a tenth floor swan dive. In fact worried, Tom checked to make sure if she was still breathing... which of course... thank God she was. He covered her and then gave her a kiss on her forehead and made himself a turkey sandwich to go before he split; it was 4:09 AM. Santa likes milk and cookies… but Tom thought this was way more fun... he wasn't as young as he used to be... but if his heart had exploded in his chest while making love to Tiffany Shaw... well, then he'd gone out like the Big Kahuna.

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