Thursday, January 12, 2012


Sally Fields stepfather; Jock Mahoney... my favorite Tarzan!

I must admit, I've been very fortunate to be pretty damn healthy... I get a cold ever couple of years, the flu every ten years (great way to lose ten pounds... by the way), a broken heart here and there... not too many issues... I've always felt grateful for that. What's my secret? It may shock you? I tend to stay away from sick people... IT REALLY WORKS! So when there's a glitch in my machinery, it's really annoys me to no end. This past week, I don't know... something (or someone?) messed up my back! Not a groovy way to start 2012... or is this maybe the begining of the end... with my back?! I doubt it... but I started giving troubles over a week ago; like I had a "Charlie horse or something?" I figure no big deal; I'll eat a couple of bananas, drink some water and I'm good to go! Like the great quarterback of my youth; Joe Namath... I'd just hobble around, and continue with my business as usual. So when my mom asked me to move some Christmas decoration boxes for her... I said, "Sure mom, I'm Tarzan. Why do you think you had me for? Where do ya want them?" When mom needs something; Tarzan swings into action! I think, as far as I can tell... this act was my Waterloo, my Waterworld, my whatever? But this is where I "f'd" myself... made things WORSE!! But, what are ya gonna do, huh? ... The damage (that I didn't realize at the time) was done.
Things got bad last Sunday; I became a tortoise who'd been flipped over in the sun... for four days, on my back in fn back pain!! I couldn't walk, stand or sit without being in serious pain. You know that term "make a grown man cry?" We'll I know it first hand now... that's how I felt... with every move of my lower body. First it hit my leg, then my back and leg, and then just my leg (actually thigh) where I had the mother, father and crazy uncle of all fn Charlie horses; like the mighty King Kong himself was rubbing his giant thumb into my thigh... put that in your ride Universal Studios! I tried every thing to fix it, hot baths, heating pads, sleeping on the floor... not to mention Ibuprofeen (many) nothing seemed to help! Which really made me frustrated, but I know a bad back is like having a baby... its just gotta work its way out. I've occasionally messed up my back before, but when I did it, I kinda knew why... jumping threw windows, being thrown out of cars, trying to out run a fireball. wrestling a wild animal.  Nine out of ten times, one of these will f'up your back! But it never hurt like this before.... that I remember? But how can Tarzan be disabled by a mere Charlie horse (I actually always wondered how the heck Tarzan could run barefoot in the jungle without stepping on something sharp?) I went and prayed to St. Michael this morning... not sure if any of the other Tarzan's ever did that?  But, I personally should have thought of it sooner... although, I really hate to be a bother. I'm now able to move around a little better before the pain kicks into my thigh. So I hope that I'm on the spin cycle of this thing? It's been a real pain in the ass, the back and the thigh! Am I just getting old? Hell no! Am I in denial? Possibly... just a little?  I'll tell you one thing, walking pain free is something that I won't ever take for granted... hopefully, I'll be ready to climb that vine and swing again soon, baby!
... and may you all be healthy and be pain free as well my friends!

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